Funny Inspirational Quotes

The most successful people are those who have learnt to take life seriously yes, but also from time to time just let their hair down and play whether literally or not. That is the reason why comedians and humorists make big money entertaining their audiences. They often bring humor and lightness into serious life situations and help people cope with everyday challenges. From time to time we need a reminder that we need to take things a little bit easy and just smile. Here are some funny inspirational quotes for you.

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Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
-Mark Twain

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Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
-Margaret Mead

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Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
-Elbert Hubbard

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People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
-Isaac Asimov

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I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
-Bertrand Russell

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If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.
-Henny Youngman

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Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
-Robin Williams

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Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
-Jim Carrey

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A word to the wise ain’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice.
-Bill Cosby

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A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often.
-Oliver Herford

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Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.
-Anthony Burgess

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I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.
-Robin Williams

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I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
-Lily Tomlin

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Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.
-Laurence J. Peter

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I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
-Rodney Dangerfield

We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don’t know.
-W. H. Auden

When we talk to God, we’re praying. When God talks to us, we’re schizophrenic.
-Jane Wagner

It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.
-Thomas Sowell

If you can’t get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you’d best teach it to dance.
-George Bernard Shaw

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
-Fred Allen

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
-Ron White

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
-Lana Turner

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
-Don Marquis

I’m an idealist. I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m on my way.
-Carl Sandburg

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is.
-Ellen DeGeneres

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.
-Terry Pratchett

It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.
-Jerry Seinfeld

By all means let’s be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.
-Richard Dawkins

If two wrongs don’t make a right, try three.
-Laurence J. Peter

If at first you don’t succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.
-William Lyon Phelps

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.
-Clint Eastwood

Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.
-Joey Adams

Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.
-Bill Vaughan

My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.
-Billy Connolly

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
-Mae West

Man cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter.
-James A. Garfield

There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.
-Josh Billings

About Haley 30 Articles
Hello, I'm Haley! A certified coffee addict, A cat lover, loves to listen to Metal type of music(where i can find solace), loves to read English novels, and now trying something new - graphic designing - let's see.
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