Famous Mark Twain Quotes
Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
― Mark Twain
We ought never to do wrong when people are looking.
― Mark Twain
The lack of money is the root of all evil.
― Mark Twain
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born, and the day you find out why.
― Mark Twain
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
― Mark Twain
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
― Mark Twain
Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.
― Mark Twain
There is no sadder thing than a young pessimist‚ except an old optimist.
― Mark Twain
Life is short, break the rules. Forgive quickly, kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that makes you smile.
― Mark Twain
If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
― Mark Twain
You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
― Mark Twain
There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.
― Mark Twain
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
― Mark Twain
A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
― Mark Twain
Mark Twain Funny Quotes
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.
― Mark Twain
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
― Mark Twain
If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.
― Mark Twain
God created war so that Americans would learn geography.
― Mark Twain
The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.
― Mark Twain
Architects cannot teach nature anything.
― Mark Twain
Classic: A book which people praise and don’t read.
― Mark Twain
The Public is merely a multiplied ‘me.
― Mark TwainGet your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
― Mark Twain
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.
― Mark Twain
All generalizations are false, including this one.
― Mark Twain
There are lies, damned lies and statistics.
― Mark Twain
The dog is a gentleman, I hope to go to his heaven, not man’s.
― Mark Twain
I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
― Mark Twain
Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.
― Mark Twain
Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation.
― Mark Twain
Familiarity breeds contempt – and children.
― Mark Twain
Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.
― Mark Twain
Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial ‘we.
― Mark Twain
Mark Twain Love Quotes
Love is not a product of reasonings and statistics. It just comes–none knows whence–and cannot explain itself.
― Mark Twain
Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.
― Mark Twain
After all these years, I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.
― Mark Twain
Love is a madness; if thwarted it develops fast.
― Mark Twain
The frankest and freest product of the human mind and heart is a love letter; the writer gets his limitless freedom of statement and expression from his sense that no stranger is going to see what he is writing.
― Mark Twain
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
― Mark Twain
True love is the only heart disease that is best left to “run on”–the only affection of the heart for which there is no help, and none desired.
― Mark Twain
The course of free love never runs smooth. I suppose we have all tried it.
― Mark Twain
Love: The irresistable desire to be irresistibly desired.
― Mark Twain
Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.
― Mark Twain
Mark Twain Life Quotes
It takes forever to find yourself but it only takes one second to forget who you are.
― Mark Twain
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
― Mark Twain
A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.
― Mark Twain
I’ve worried about a great many things in my life… and one or two of them have actually come true.
― Mark Twain
Sing like no one’s listening, love like you’re never been hurt, dance like nobody’s watching, and live like it’s heaven on earth.
― Mark Twain
To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.
― Mark Twain
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.
― Mark Twain
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
― Mark Twain
Mark Twain inspirational Quotes
If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first.
― Mark Twain
Keep away from those who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great people make you feel that, you too, can become great.
― Mark Twain
Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
― Mark Twain
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal ifference between a dog and a man.
― Mark Twain
Never put off ‘til tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
― Mark Twain
It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.
― Mark Twain
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
― Mark Twain
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
― Mark Twain
Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
― Mark Twain
Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
― Mark Twain
A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.
― Mark Twain
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.
― Albert Einstein
The worst is loneliness to not be comfortable with yourself.
― Mark Twain
Twety years from now, you will be more isappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
― Mark Twain
Humor is the great thing. The minute it crops up, all our hardness yield, all our irritations and resentments flit away.
― Mark Twain
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
― Mark Twain
Other Remarkable Quotes by Mark Twain
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can’t read them.
― Mark Twain
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.
― Mark Twain
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
― Albert Einstein
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
― Mark Twain
The trouble ain’t that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain’t distributed right.
― Mark Twain
Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t.
― Mark Twain
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
― Mark Twain
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.
― Mark Twain
I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell — you see, I have friends in both places.
― Mark Twain
My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.
― Mark Twain
