Funny Family Quotes
Children aren’t happy with nothing to ignore, and that’s what parents were created for.
– Ogden Nash
Having a big family around is a good way to make sure there will always be someone to answer the phone – and forget the message.
– Unknown
Before most people start boasting about their family tree, they usually do a good pruning job.
– O A Battista
The great advantage of living in a large family is that early lesson of life’s essential unfairness.
– Nancy Mitford
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
– Rodney Dangerfield
Parents are not interested in justice; they’re interested in peace and quiet.
– Bill Cosby
Important families are like potatoes. The best parts are underground.
– Francis Bacon
Fathers should teach their sons how to earn money because mothers teach their daughters how to spend it.
– Vikrant Parsai
Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.
– Evan Esar
Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts.
– Wayne H.
If you don’t believe in ghosts, you’ve never been to a family reunion.
– Ashleigh Brilliant
I been with strangers all day and they treated me like family. I come in here to family and you treat me like a stranger.
– August Wilson
If your family tree does not fork, you might be a redneck.
– Jeff Foxworthy
Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
– Martin Mull
A guest never knows how much to laugh at a family joke.
– Unknown
The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions.
– Robert Brault
Having kids reminded me why I didn’t want to have kids.
– Unknown
The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended-and not to take a hint when a hint is not intended.
– Robert Frost
I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance -waiting for the bathroom.
– Bob Hope
My uncle’s dying wish – he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
– Rodney Dangerfield
I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
-Erma Bombeck
A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.
– Ogden Nash
Perhaps the greatest social service that can be rendered by anybody to this country and to mankind is to bring up a family.
– Bernard Shaw
In each family a story is playing itself out, and each family’s story embodies its hope and despair.
– Auguste Napier
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
– Phyllis Diller
First we are children to our parents, then parents to our children, then parents to our parents, then children to our children.
– Milton Greenblatt
Never raise your hand to your children, it leaves your midsection unprotected.
– Robert Orben
One of life’s greatest mysteries is how the boy who wasn’t good enough to marry your daughter can be the father of the smartest grandchild in the world.
– Proverb
Family is not an important thing, it’s everything.
– Michael J. Fox
