Funny Family Quotes


Children aren’t happy with nothing to ignore, and that’s what parents were created for.
– Ogden Nash


Having a big family around is a good way to make sure there will always be someone to answer the phone – and forget the message.
– Unknown


Before most people start boasting about their family tree, they usually do a good pruning job.
– O A Battista


The great advantage of living in a large family is that early lesson of life’s essential unfairness.
– Nancy Mitford


I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
– Rodney Dangerfield


Parents are not interested in justice; they’re interested in peace and quiet.
– Bill Cosby


Important families are like potatoes. The best parts are underground.
– Francis Bacon



Fathers should teach their sons how to earn money because mothers teach their daughters how to spend it.
– Vikrant Parsai


Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.
– Evan Esar


Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts.
– Wayne H.

If you don’t believe in ghosts, you’ve never been to a family reunion.
– Ashleigh Brilliant

I been with strangers all day and they treated me like family. I come in here to family and you treat me like a stranger.
– August Wilson

If your family tree does not fork, you might be a redneck.
– Jeff Foxworthy

Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
– Martin Mull

A guest never knows how much to laugh at a family joke.
– Unknown

The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions.
– Robert Brault

Having kids reminded me why I didn’t want to have kids.
– Unknown

The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended-and not to take a hint when a hint is not intended.
– Robert Frost

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance -waiting for the bathroom.
– Bob Hope

My uncle’s dying wish – he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
– Rodney Dangerfield

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
-Erma Bombeck

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.
– Ogden Nash

Perhaps the greatest social service that can be rendered by anybody to this country and to mankind is to bring up a family.
– Bernard Shaw

In each family a story is playing itself out, and each family’s story embodies its hope and despair.
– Auguste Napier

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
– Phyllis Diller

First we are children to our parents, then parents to our children, then parents to our parents, then children to our children.
– Milton Greenblatt

Never raise your hand to your children, it leaves your midsection unprotected.
– Robert Orben

One of life’s greatest mysteries is how the boy who wasn’t good enough to marry your daughter can be the father of the smartest grandchild in the world.
– Proverb

Family is not an important thing, it’s everything.
– Michael J. Fox

About rhuztom 89 Articles
Hello, I'm Rhuztom. I started blogging and writing 2 years ago and fortunately, still going. I love basketball, watching animes, reading and browsing memes and creating non-sense to not-so-cool images. Well, I hope you like my posts. Kanpai!